Hard Times Never Last, but Genuine Relationships Do!

We all go through hard times. Some of us go through rougher patches than some guys would ever imagine.

It’s always been said that God can’t put us through the fire knowing that we’ll be consumed with the heat; that, within adversity, He plants the seed of opportunity. That may very well be so, but sometimes the pressure feels as though it’s too much, and you wanna give up! There’s no doubt about how hard it is to hold on to faith, but with the help of family, friends and God, even the seemingly weak among us, indeed, manage to pull through.

It’s true what they say: friendship can be that feeble flame that fritters away at the first sign of a storm. Friend come and go, and when things get rough, your professed ‘best friends’ scatter faster than you can spell vamoose. Even so, the truth is that there are still good people out there who will stand by your side when the mud hits the fan. This could be someone you’ve known your whole life or a Good Samaritan who pops out of the wood work.

Needless to say, the shittiest circumstances are the best measure of real friendships!

As steadfast as genuine friends may be, they can’t really take the place of family. Sure enough, there are guys in your life that you consider ‘blood’ despite their not being kith and kin; but I’m not referring to family in the figurative sense. I’m talking about relatives—your pops, mom, bro and sis among other folks. Naturally, mothers hold a special place that needs an entire post to elaborate. When all’s said and done, family will always come through in one way or another.

The family bond goes both ways. Always stay true to your peoples; regardless of the depth of muck they’re in!

As expected, God plays the ultimate role in guiding your path. It is true that the atheist finds God in a foxhole. Unfortunately, that’s also where the enemy catches up with believers. Question everything…but God! I bet you’ve had times when you thought you were alone in the dark abyss—a time when you were about to give up the ghost—but somehow you found the strength to crawl out. That was Him! It’s easy to relish in your awesome intelligence but, in truth, all your insight comes from He who is the Source of Infinite Wisdom.

Take heart!

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” — 1 Corinthians 10:13.

 

Free Verse I Wrote

First and fore, let me take a second to give a token word to wise who talk and word after word of inspirational thoughts flow flawlessly forth down to the third generation and fourth.

When it comes to spoken word I’ll admit that I’m a beginner but I’m still big in a way best understood by letting your mind dance and sway to the words that I say. Pleasure for me is when my lips shape a form of the ideas that I express in the spoken word that I perform.

Rhyming words is easy; easier than rhyming thoughts. It’s easy to twist and turn words with acrobatic ease but telling a story that compels a passer-by to freeze in their step needs the mind of a literary whizz. How do you use words that ooze charm that moves the audience from deep within?

My spoken word is the kind of modest truth that does not like to be naked; it always comes in a fancy dress!

 

Calm the Fudge Down!

Shit happens! Life is a bitch so make every day your wife! Taking yourself too seriously can give you all kinds of weird diseases, from acne flare ups to ulcers. When I look back on some of the things I thought were a big deal when I was a young’n, they don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. It’s about time you redefine what you might think are the defining moments of your life.

There’s no denying that your present life is the sum total of all the choices you and people in your life have made in the past. That’s why I’m speaking about this in general terms. Over-analyzing things tends to lead to indecision, which when you think about it, is worse than making the wrong decision. The truth is that you will never have all the facts you need to make the best decision, but you will always have enough to make a great one.

For me life is about using the lessons from my past to plan for my future by focusing exclusively on the present! It’s funny how guys are always trying to figure out that one thing that life is about. The truth is that it’s not just about one thing. It’s not about you, it’s not about me… it’s about everyone and everything in its entirety! A born again Christian would say it’s about serving God. I agree. But just because I agree doesn’t mean that I live that way! I have a long way to go, and I suspect you do too. So calm down and ponder on these words by Solomon.

“Do not be overly righteous, nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself? Do not be overly wicked, nor be foolish: Why should you die before your time?” – Ecclesiastes 7:16-17

 

Touch Screen Phones and Touchy People — Very precious…but too delicate

I, like most other people, want a touch screen phone, preferably an iPhone. If not, I’ll settle for the Samsung Galaxy Tab or at least the Google IDEOS android phone. These phones have a sexy appeal. They look great. They also come with copious fun and handy apps and games. But the one thing that would make me think twice about buying one (then proceed to buy it anyway…hehe) would be the fact that they are quite delicate.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dropped my phone. But after a brief moment of shock and horror as I examine the phone for ‘severe injuries,’ my trusted Huawei U3100 phone somehow manages to survive the impact. And that’s why I love it to bits. Aside from having all the features you’d want in a phone—3G internet with streaming capability, up to 8GB external memory, Audio/video player, multitasking capability, and sleek design—it is also a strong and durable phone. The only thing I’m doubtful of is if it’s water resistant, and I don’t care to find out.

These new touch screen handsets in the market seem so delicate to me. Like if you drop it once “Kwisha wewe!” It’s a wrap, like Daniel Moi! They don’t seem like the kind of phone that would suffer with you through rough times. What if I get mad and throw the phone at someone, and I (hopefully) miss then it hits a wall? I’m sure my current phone would live to tell the story. But these other “mayai” phones would come to their untimely demise.

Quite frankly, some people fall into this category as well. They’re your friends or family and you love them to death. But they’re too damn sensitive! They’re touchy and will get hurt by the slightest comments. It’s hard to give this kind of person constructive criticism ‘cause when you do, they pine and sulk.

I find myself getting irritable when I’m around them because I don’t know how to handle them. I care about them, yes, but I don’t want to have to baby them all the time. Think about it: If you had a really beautiful, priceless, but painfully fragile glass sculpture that is worth millions; how would you handle it? You would try your best to minimize any contact with it. You’d allow your friends to only admire it from a distance ‘cause you’re afraid they might break it. Every time you touch it, you’re afraid you might break it.

There’s nothing you can do about. You can’t change people, just like you can’t change the glass sculpture to make it sturdier! You just keep your distance. Love them from a far.

I think twice about having fragile touch screen phones and fragile touchy people in my life…but I love them and embrace them anyway …

 

Slow your roll. You can’t do everything!

It’s true that we live in times when guys who are still in the early stages of their careers find it tough to depend on their jobs as their only source of income. I recently saw a feature on KTN news that claimed that most young professionals these days have a side hustle. I know a lot of them are but to claim that most of them are doing so is a bit of an overstatement.

Be that as it may, the fact remains that there are a lot of opportunities out there if you look hard enough. You’re not allowed to just sit on your lazy ass and make exhortations along the lines of ‘Naomba Serikali’ in this day and age. It is no longer acceptable to work for JYM (Juu Ya Mawe) industries as one of my boys so aptly puts it.

Some over zealous guys have, however, taken the side hustle thing too far and they try to dabble in any and every little venture they hear about. Sometimes it is wise to lay back and watch the market for a while before investing your time, energy or hard earned money into hustles you overheard guys talking about.

Before you buy a camera so as to start a photography gig or before you make the payment for a domain for a website you imagine will be a hit because your girl got a lot of comments on her blog, do a bit of a market survey. A lot of the time you might discover, after some self examination, that all you require to start raking in wads of the elusive mullah is to just stick to your field, and to keep doing what you do … but doing it better than your competition!

They (whoever ‘they’ are) were not high on traditional brew when they quipped that ‘a bird in hand is worth two in the bush!’ Fine, maybe they were, but that’s beside the point. Warren Buffet himself, the wealthiest stock investor on the planet, sums it up in his investment strategy: keep all your eggs in one basket, and then watch that basket very carefully! The guy owns only one company—Berkshire Hathaway—but through that one company he owns several others, which in turn own several others, ad infinitum.

Back to the main point, which is, slow down and try working with what you have first before you go off trying everything else simply because everyone else is doing it. This ‘me-too’ attitude can be counter-productive. Sure, there’s more than one road to Damascus, but if you’re not careful, you might pick the one that leads you straight into hell!

 

What’s Your Special Power?

That’s exactly right. We all have a special power or ability like it’s referred to in science fiction series/movies like Heroes and X-Men. However, the powers you and I have are not along the lines of Telekinesis (moving objects through space), mind reading, time travel or the ability to fly; the powers you and I have are more subtle. So subtle that we often fail to notice when we are using them on other people.

You know what I’m talking about. Just think about it. What is that thing that you ALWAYS do when you want to get something from people? What’s that move that you always pull off so effortlessly and flawlessly after which you always have your girl, boy, sis, bro, mom, the teller at the bank, the difficult security guy or any other unfortunate soul in your way exactly where you want them? It sounds about right, doesn’t it? Allow me to illuminate your imagination with an instance where these special abilities/powers come into play.

A fine swanky looking corporate type lass struts into one of the countless green M-pesa stalls splashed all over Moi Avenue. Steve, the cashier, is just done attending to a customer when said lass steps up to the grilled counter as she pulls out her lilac E-series phone. She would like to make a withdrawal. Steve tells her to go ahead. So Miss jeune fillè punches in the necessary codes and amount into the chic touchpad knowing full well she doesn’t have her original ID with her. Before she’s even asked to produce the identification she’s already slipped on a sexy flirtatious smile last used by the mythical succubi temptress Delilah to seduce Samson into going bald. By the time the guy took a whiff of the Brosseau fragrance that lingered about her, he never had a chance. Suffice to say that the hapless Monsieur Steve succumbed.

The fashion in which this lady used her sexiness is equivalent to a burly guy with beefy biceps bludgeoning random skinny dudes’ faces in along the busy streets.

Some people use their charm; like my boy Pete who somehow convinced the bouncers at Bacchus that my ass was worth enough to rest itself on the club’s velvety couches. Some use brute force, intimidation and threats. A few use their status, their last name, or their obese wallets. As for me, I’ll venture to say that I use my power to connect — my ability to make people feel like I really get them. I use my power to listen to you without the slightest hint of judgment; so much so that you feel like it is ok for you to be yourself around me because I am like you, no, I am you. It sounds weird because it’s weird but it is true.

How do you know what your power is? Well, take another look at paragraph two above. You may not be able to put your finger on it just yet but now that I’ve mentioned it it’ll become clearer to you in time. Another clue that will help you recognize it is the fact that you haven’t always used it for good. You have, on several occasions, used it on people so as only to satisfy your selfish needs. I know this because I’ve done it myself and felt quite guilty afterwards. You’ve felt the guilt to, but it’s ok because no one got hurt, right? Just pay more attention to how your mind works and you’ll realize that everything you and I have said so far is true.

 

Freelance Writing As A Side Hustle

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve always felt that I could do with more money. I never seem to have enough to get all that I want at any time. It’s true for you too, isn’t it? Taking your girl out or buying yourself a fly shoe or even getting your Mom the perfect gift for her birthday usually means saving up and making sacrifices here and there. And we all know saving up is not fun. So how can you make all this easier? Easy; make more money.

There are all kinds of means out there of earning an extra buck in your spare time; some harder than others. Most of them are legal and a lot of them aren’t. As a rule I prefer to work with the hustles that are relatively easy and legal. This is where freelance writing comes in. There are companies that specialize in writing essays, articles, dissertations and academic writing for international clients at a fee. These companies hire guys to research and write these articles for them and pay them typically Kshs 80 – 150 per page containing 500 words.

The research they require to be done before writing an article is pretty basic. Suffice to say if you know how to use the Google search engine you can hack it (pardon the pun). Needless to say that plagiarizing is illegal. I suggest you do a bit of research on what plagiarizing really means before you take up this job. That aside, all you need to get started is a personal computer and internet access. So if you own a laptop (or a desktop PC) and you have a modem you are good to go. Naturally, you will be required to good command of the English language which simply means if you can string together words to make logical sentences you will do just fine. The company will usually require you to write a minimum of five articles (roughly 2500 words) a day. This should not be hard for anyone with average typing speed.

What I like most about freelance writing is the flexibility it allows you. At the end of the day it is just a side hustle that you want to fit into your daily routine. It shouldn’t be too stressful or as stressful as your day job. In addition, the more effort you put into it the more you earn. If you write twice as many articles, you earn twice the earnings. There are enough guys doing it full time and manage to get by fairly well with it as their sole source of income.

To find the companies that are looking for freelance writers simply Google “freelance writing Nairobi” and you find a myriad of options to choose from. Send a brief application through email with a copy of your CV and a sample essay you have written. Who knows? It might allay some of your financial problems.

 

Into Her Eyes

Allow me to furnish you with a beautiful poem written by my beautiful friend Brenda. Enjoy!

—————–

INTO HER EYES
by Brenda Mo Angwenyi

If I stayed, would it change?
Change the mistakes?
Would it change the tears I have cried?
Or the pain I hide inside?
No.

Would it make you stop?
Stop for a moment and glance at me.
Look into my eyes and know that I want the best.
The best for you and me.
Would it make you ignore them?
And love only me?
Listen to the beatings of my heart,
The cries of my young heart.
A heart that does not listen but wanders into the wilderness.
No.

If I stayed, I would be a lie.
To myself and to you.
If I stayed I would be saying that I want it all
And yet I lost it already.
I lost you and the love we had.
I lost your glance into my eyes,
Instead you only wish to look into hers.

 

Why You and I Blog

You, me and every other person on this planet has something to say about pretty much everything. And we want to be heard. That is why your friends, colleagues, sis, bro, lover or anyone you have a conversation with almost always jump in and interrupt you when you speak. But that’s ok because you often cut in when they speak because you imagine your two cents worth makes more sense. I however try and check this unrelenting impulse to go on and on about this and that and I try to make a conscious effort to listen. I am not yet as good at listening as I should be but I like to think that I am getting better. Shutting up is a skill that you and I need to make an effort to develop because talking too much invariably distracts us from keenly observing what really goes on around us. That blindness takes away from us the power to change (for the better) seeing as you cannot change what you cannot see. So how am I supposed to express my thoughts and listen more at the same time?

Just Blog It

This is where blogging comes in. While the glare of the PC hurts your eyes a little as you stare into the screen, fingers briskly brushing over the keypad as the cursor leaves in its trail words sentences paragraphs chronicling your trivial and intimate thoughts alike, your friend, colleague, or fiancée is not there to interrupt you.

At that moment, you and I have the carte blanche to complain about how people fall short of our expectations of them. We can bitch about how incompetent the guys we voted in are and conveniently forget how that reflects on our incompetence at choosing leaders. In that online space we call our blog we allow ourselves to go off at (wo)men for being clueless when it comes to satisfying our needs. How they are only about themselves seeing as they expect us to always pleas(ur)e them. What about us, damnit? We even allow ourselves not to see the irony in our perpetual whining because it’s our blog, isn’t it?

Sometimes we move beyond ourselves and write for a cause we feel is worthwhile. This blog was initially intended to enlighten readers about various business opportunities available to urban youth. It has over time evolved into an online journal that diarizes my personal thoughts, however inane or profound.

Simply put, you and I blog so as to express ourselves.

 

Reading People. A Glimpse Into The Human Psyche.

As a kid, you loved Magic. Of course you still love magic but back then you believed it. At one point your then friend held your palm in their hand and examined the lines intently. They would wear a slight frown on their face and then moments later, after deep thought, utter something like “you’re the first-born in your family” or “you are going to become a very wealthy.” Then you both laughed out loud. You even tried it yourself. Remember that time in class five when you asked your deskie to think of a number between one and ten? Remember taking them through a series of computations?

“Multiply it by two.”

“Add ten.”

“Subtract the original number from the answer.”

Then you would finally tell them what their answer is. It was all so fascinating, so surreal. The notion that someone might have the ability to read your mind or at least make you believe that he could was mind boggling. It left you agog. But then you eventually discovered the trick behind it, fooled a few idiots yourself and moved on. Your interest in the supernatural waned because more pertinent issues troubled your mind as you ‘eased’ into puberty.

Some of your friends nevertheless carried that interest into their adulthood. Thousands of people around the world faithfully follow Harry Potter’s saga. Movies and series based on a ‘chosen few’ possessing special abilities – Heroes, I Am Number Four, The Adjustment Bureau — are sold by the hundreds at stalls across Moi Avenue, Tom Mboya Street and the (in)famous River Road. Boulevard of Bootlegged Bidhaa. They sell because that seductive allure of the paranormal still insinuates itself in every one of us perhaps because it offers us some kind of answer to our curiosity of the ‘unseen’ realm.

Step in mentalists

You know them. You’ve ever seen them on TV and you must have heard about them through your friends. They claim to have a connection to the world beyond – the hereafter. They will reach out to the dearly departed and convey to you messages from them. Their mystic vision of your past is almost always on point and that is precisely why they have made a lucrative career out of their ‘unique ability’. You haven’t had the pleasure of meeting one but in the event that you did their accurate readings would shock you.

Mind's Eye

Well, believe it or not, these psychics or mentalists do indeed possess a special ability. It is however not clairvoyance or telepathy. They are simply observant, very observant. They are perceptive guys who look for signs that will give them a clue as to who you are and why you do what you do. They are also well versed in the proclivities of human nature and have taken time to study the basics of what drives our psyche. They play about with intelligent guesses about traits common to your demographic. They infer your personality from your body language and test their theories by instant reactions you give as they deliver a ‘reading’. They will make generic statements that apply to everyone but in a way that seems very specific to you.

These clues include the movement of your eyes. When someone hits the mark when you hear them describing your intimate thoughts your eyes widen a little. Hands crossed over your chest means you’re not ‘feeling’ what they are talking about. If your feet are facing away it shows you’re not interested. You breathe faster when you are upset and when you are nervous you feel as if you have to clear your throat before you speak. Sometimes you will nod your head sub-consciously when you agree with something. Other pointers would be a girl who keeps touching the nice ring on her finger, a guy adjusting his shirt every few moments or speaking loudly one minute then mumbling the next. Some people will scratch the back of their necks when they’ve just lied to you and feel guilty about it.

A momma’s boy will switch to an unusually soft tone when speaking to their mom over the phone and guys almost always lick their lips and blink faster when on the phone with a girl they like but haven’t yet hitched. We all know what s/he wants (you) to do when they keep glancing at your mouth. Christ Hart will tell you that the list is endless.

We’re all mind-readers

Let’s not get it twisted though. Reading people is nothing new to you. You have been doing it all your life. You wouldn’t have survived so far if you didn’t. Every time you have a face to face conversation you are on the lookout for facial expressions. How many times have you made a clever remark and immediately felt gratified from even the subtlest reactions to your comments. The difference between you and a professional is that they have consciously honed the art of reading people over a long time. Simply put, when you observe something closely enough you will begin to notice patterns. And when you are able to recognize these patterns in people’s behaviour fairly easily, you might be in a position to read between their lies because, let’s face it, everybody lies.